The Don't Quit Podcast

Why Practicing Vulnerability is the Best Thing You’re Not Doing

I’ve talk a lot about breaking out of your comfort zone on Instagram. Saying yes to more things, being available to more people.

This all leads to vulnerability which can cause anxiety. The key here is to learn to embrace without being confide by it.

How I Broke Out of My Social Comfort Zone by Saying Yes to Everything

When I first started making this podcast, I thought a lot of scary stuff about it. Not necessarily shaking but full of anxiety. My thoughts of feelings were in a new strange place.

I had open myself to criticism and judgment.

It was hard to focus on work out of fear of what people might think. I would read comments, reviews, and took it all personally.

The good thing was I got a lot more positive feedback than I ever imagined. People who didn’t like what I did didn’t even care enough to say anything and those who did, well, may their voice heard.

Vulnerability Is Important, But Not If It Stresses You Out Too Much

Even though having my writing out for all to see scares me, I don’t stop because I want to improve myself, not just in being a writer. It helps me visualize and talk to myself about what’s really important.

Think about your deepest relationship, whether a friend, a spouse, or your parents.

Chances are you told them personal details you wouldn’t tell anyone else. When you get in a fight with them it probably isn’t pretty. But it always strengthens relationships because you get through it.

They learn how you function, what makes you tick, and the empathy it requires to make you feel at ease. Granted you don’t need these conflicts to strengthen, but they make you feel better about how you present your true self.

Vulnerability humbles the confirmation bias. It can difficult to talk about how you honestly feel about certain things while being in constant fear what they might think.

You open yourself up to criticism but also to opposing views. Which can broaden your horizon about what you know. These little things actually are good in the long run.

Four Resolutions that Got Me Out of My Comfort Zone This Year

Yes, breaking out feels scary, but it’s actually good for you. It improves your performance as said by Yerkes-Dodson Law. Psychologists Robert M. Yerkes and John D. Dodson explained that uncomfortableness leads to to a more consistent level of performance. But if you want to improve performance then you need to improve the level of anxiety and stress exposed.

So that feeling of stress and anxiety is telling you are growing just like sore muscles after a workout the next day.

But bear in mind too much stress and anxiety can cause you to fatigue and bestsellers less productive though. So you need to find your optimal anxiety.

Set Realistic Goals to Hedge Your Anxiety

In the last few weeks I’ve felt lethargic with my comfortability. Being more honest, being able to follow through with what I say, and being more reliable. It’s difficult to accomplish all these things at once. So that’s why I broke them up into smaller goals that are more manageable.

Blunt honesty comes super easy for some people, but people like me can be difficult about how to go about it. So I made it a goal of mine to be more honest about myself with people in general.

So if I saw a bad movie with a friend I will tell them it was a bad movie.

Stop Caring About What Others Think, and Get Back Your Self-Respect

Even telling yourself it’s not a big deal can make it more of a big deal. Which causes more anxiety than anything.

This made me realize that sticking to my plan easier overall. But not if I set a clearer goal. By just crossing it off my list gives you motivation to express honesty.

Without a goal, I probably would have lied to him without thinking about it. The most important is though, is the goal, wasn’t about his reaction. This allowed me to know we care too much about how people think.

Looking at the perspective of getting it done was worth more.

It’s when you do something and find out it’s not as scary as you thought it would be. It’s actually the anticipation that’s what scary.

Partner Up With a Friend

You can also team up with a friend to go through this discomfort together. I used to hate networking events. So whenever I was asked to go to one, I would always bring a friend.

I feel anxious when I’m meeting new people, but being with someone who knows me makes me feel better.

Also having his confidence and energy takes off the edge.

You probably know people who are used to being uncomfortable. They are spontaneous and live life on the edge. Those are friends we need in our lives to accelerate where we are in our lives. They encourage you to get out of the house and have new experiences.

What ever social activity it is, having someone you know helps deal with the anxiety of something new. Whether it be networking, surfing, dancing, or whatever.

Your friend can even introduce you to new experiences. Just be vocal about your anxiety with your friend.

Accomplishing your goals is tough, so it helps to have some support to keep you accountable.

I always hated interviews. Wether it’s interviewing someone or they interviewing me, they always winded just thinking of them.

I always worried I would saying dumb or not answer a question well enough. My thoughts always concentrated on them no matter what I did.

But I’ve gotten better at handling them through, you guessed it, mindfulness.

Keep practicing about your awareness and what you feel.

The longer you stay in your comfort zone the harder it is to get out of it. When you break out, the process isn’t as scary as it can be.

Yes, you’ll still feel vulnerable, but you’ll feel it less and gain from it more with time.

So when is the time you’re going to be more vulnerable?

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